This artcard arrived from California, where many people habitate and respire. It reflects that distant land’s sense of ennui and hirsuiteness, and it tells us something about ourselves: that we are digestible. Very digestible, and very good, if God or Mom will let us be.

These artcards reflect the season, in that, like leaves, they fall from trees and decompose upon cold, hard earth. By spring, when fresh buds signal new life, they will have disintegrated to dust, as though the joyful return of color and warmth were built on the mockery of their deaths.

At The Dirigible Store
-Do you have any dirigibles for sale?
-Our dirigibles have all fermented. Perhaps you would like some airplane glue? It is thematically related, and of lower cost.
-Thank you; one trip is as good as another.

As You Are Being Assaulted
-Unhand me, and explain the purpose of this intrusion!
-You have trespassed upon territory assimilated to my gang, clique or social group. As such, your bruising is warranted.
-This logic fails to impress me, though your girth is indicative of violence.
-My mother, she substituted food for love.

At The Pubic Hair Waxing Establishment
-I cannot decide on proper hirsuteness for my groin and genital region. What is customary in the holiday season here?
-Not prone to moderation, our people oscillate between rainforest-like luxuriance and infantile absence of follicles.
-For my particular pudendum, how would taste dictate?
-In your case, the beauty so overwhelms that coiffure would be as a gilding upon some musky-scented lily.

During The Revolutionary Overthrow of the Government
-Are these gunshots of low caliber, and frequent?
-In either case, were I an emissary of the running dog imperialists, as your trousers indicate you to be, I would flee to the safety of my embassy or personal guard.
-What of souvenirs of the event?
-They may be purchased from our website, pending successful appointment of a junta.

These artcards are happier, because they arrived after the forces of Alaskism had been defeated by the good king Hopey McChangerson*. We hope that future artcards will grow up in a world without hate, or at least a world without grotesque fiscal irresponsibility and an unchecked executive, which is like hate, only more effective.

*we are indebted to R.Sheridan for the nomenclatural device

In last week’s issue of Spoonbot, we mistakenly stated that Ruth Bader Ginsburg had been a “crack whore” in south Philadelphia during the 1960s. “Crack” was not popularized until the 1980s, thus making this story unlikely, at best. Further, we misspelled the vice president’s name: it is “Richard Bruce Cheney,” not “Dickie Von Suckmeboy.” Also, we implied that Barack Obama had once healed a man of leprosy and had caused a deceased child to be raised from the dead. We cannot substantiate these stories, and thus retract them. Finally, we were incorrect in claiming that gay marriage was a threat to conventional marriage. It is not, and if our error in any way caused hardship for those living in California, we apologize.

More ArtCards, all produced by art-enhanced persons and person-like entities.*

*To produce an art card it is necessary to have second order desires: it’s not enough to want to do it, you have to want to want to do it.

What do you like best about the 21st century?

A. Relative dearth of horsemen.

B. Ease of use.

C. Shortest century so far.

The Artcard2 Project is commencing. Here’s the first entry:

I know, it’s better than the one you were working on. Don’t feel bad: in most endeavors, most people are better than you are. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. It just means that it’s not worthwhile to try.

Facebook Poems are composed by taking lines from your Facebook homepage’s News Feed. They were invented by Elizabeth Festa.

Here’s one by Elizabeth:

Is Go Blue

Is go blue
And has used Visual Bookshelf
And is busy comparing

Ann and Dan are now friends
Snorre and Steve are now friends
Lidijia and Mohamed are now friends
Is not going to her 20-year high school reunion tomorrow
Jonah and Link are now friends
Snorre and Kristin are now friends

Is full from an early birthday lunch
Is full from an early birthday lunch
Has learned an important lesson about pickled peppers
Is now $ 6,000 more in debt
Is full from an early birthday lunch

Braces
Sick kid –love being a parent
Is feeling anxious

Is waiting for debating
Has proof there is a god

We have located five guys in Colorado

—————————————————-
Add your own Facebook Poems in the comment section below!