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A Final ArtCard Before The New Year

This artcard arrived from California, where many people habitate and respire. It reflects that distant land’s sense of ennui and hirsuiteness, and it tells us something about ourselves: that we are digestible. Very digestible, and very good, if God or Mom will let us be.

5 Responses to “A Final ArtCard Before The New Year”

  1. Catherine R Says:

    Fuck my life.

  2. Salamandershowitz Says:

    is your life properly lubricated?

  3. Zak Says:

    My name is Zak and I made this art card. I like the way it looks displayed on the Spoonbot web site. The cool fire-haired guy who hosts Spoonbot asked me to make an art card and I was procrastinating making it. I wanted to do a good job and that is why I procrastinate. I procrastinate a lot of things in my life because I want to do a good job and then like a cloud of wanting but doubt about able-to-be-doing forms over my head and it’s like I am constipated and my creativity is the poop. And then so I screw things up by not having any good willpower laxative.

    Anyway, I made this art card out of the advertisements in a couple issues of the New Yorker magazine that have been sitting in a corner for about a year while I work up the nerve to read the articles. I had a “game plan” which is that the center of the card should be concentric circles and the four corners should have radiant lines like the sun, and each corner should be a primary color that slowly morphs into the color of the other corner. So I went through the New Yorker selecting ads with different colors and tearing the pages out and putting them in appropriate piles.

    While I was doing all this I was watching a DVD of “The Dark Knight” starring a bunch of people who are shrouded in darkness. Maggie Gyllenhaal is in the movie but you wouldn’t know it because all she does is react and stuff and doesn’t get to be sexy like she was in “Secretary.” Anyway when I look at parts of this art card I think of parts of “The Dark Knight” due to state-dependent memory. For example the green area in the upper left makes me think of Aaron Eckhart’s special coin and how I wish I had a special two-headed coin to impress my friends and do magic tricks.

    After I did about 2/3 of the art card, I got tired and it was late and I had to stop. So the art card sat in my living room with a big white empty corner and there were paper cuttings all over the rug and glue sticks and it was a big mess, and when I came home from work I had to sidle around all the stuff just to go hang up my jacket. Then I said ‘Man I better finish the art card for Spoonbot.com and to make James happy.’ So I put in a DVD of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” and finished the blue area and some of the middle. When I look at the blue area I think of Kirsten Dunst dancing in her underwear on a mattress, and also Mark Ruffalo erasing memories. But mostly just Kirsten Dunst in her underwear. Actually I think of Kirsten Dunst in her underwear even when not looking at the art card.

    The art card I did last year was done while watching “The Queen” which was boring. I did another art card recently but I like it too much to send to Spoonbot.com. Sorry. While making it I was watching “Billy Liar” and looking at it makes me think of Tom Courtenay and Julie Christie. Unfortunately for part of the time I watched it, I was also watching Larry King interview Jim Carrey, and parts of it make me think about Jim Carrey’s vitamin regimen and how he somehow managed to convince Jenny McCarthy to be his girlfriend.

  4. Zak Says:

    P.S. I am not happy with the sassy blonde in the image. She ended up there because she was the right color. If I had it to do over, I would probably give her a circuit-board face like a character in “Westworld.”

  5. Vanderpool Says:

    Praise you very much for your assistance.

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