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Archive for November, 2008

The ArtCards of Late Autumn: A Growing Sadness

Thursday, November 27th, 2008

These artcards reflect the season, in that, like leaves, they fall from trees and decompose upon cold, hard earth. By spring, when fresh buds signal new life, they will have disintegrated to dust, as though the joyful return of color and warmth were built on the mockery of their deaths.

More from the English/Lithuatvian Phrase Book

Friday, November 14th, 2008

At The Dirigible Store
-Do you have any dirigibles for sale?
-Our dirigibles have all fermented. Perhaps you would like some airplane glue? It is thematically related, and of lower cost.
-Thank you; one trip is as good as another.

As You Are Being Assaulted
-Unhand me, and explain the purpose of this intrusion!
-You have trespassed upon territory assimilated to my gang, clique or social group. As such, your bruising is warranted.
-This logic fails to impress me, though your girth is indicative of violence.
-My mother, she substituted food for love.

At The Pubic Hair Waxing Establishment
-I cannot decide on proper hirsuteness for my groin and genital region. What is customary in the holiday season here?
-Not prone to moderation, our people oscillate between rainforest-like luxuriance and infantile absence of follicles.
-For my particular pudendum, how would taste dictate?
-In your case, the beauty so overwhelms that coiffure would be as a gilding upon some musky-scented lily.

During The Revolutionary Overthrow of the Government
-Are these gunshots of low caliber, and frequent?
-In either case, were I an emissary of the running dog imperialists, as your trousers indicate you to be, I would flee to the safety of my embassy or personal guard.
-What of souvenirs of the event?
-They may be purchased from our website, pending successful appointment of a junta.

Post Election ArtCard Assortment

Sunday, November 9th, 2008

These artcards are happier, because they arrived after the forces of Alaskism had been defeated by the good king Hopey McChangerson*. We hope that future artcards will grow up in a world without hate, or at least a world without grotesque fiscal irresponsibility and an unchecked executive, which is like hate, only more effective.

*we are indebted to R.Sheridan for the nomenclatural device


Saturday, November 8th, 2008

In last week’s issue of Spoonbot, we mistakenly stated that Ruth Bader Ginsburg had been a “crack whore” in south Philadelphia during the 1960s. “Crack” was not popularized until the 1980s, thus making this story unlikely, at best. Further, we misspelled the vice president’s name: it is “Richard Bruce Cheney,” not “Dickie Von Suckmeboy.” Also, we implied that Barack Obama had once healed a man of leprosy and had caused a deceased child to be raised from the dead. We cannot substantiate these stories, and thus retract them. Finally, we were incorrect in claiming that gay marriage was a threat to conventional marriage. It is not, and if our error in any way caused hardship for those living in California, we apologize.

Just So We’re All On The Same Page Here

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

It’s strange to think that we now have a president who knows what language Italians speak.

More Art Cards from ArtCard 2

Saturday, November 1st, 2008

More ArtCards, all produced by art-enhanced persons and person-like entities.*

*To produce an art card it is necessary to have second order desires: it’s not enough to want to do it, you have to want to want to do it.