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Archive for January, 2017

Best Alternative Facts

Monday, January 23rd, 2017

The crowds at Trump’s inauguration were the biggest ever.
Jet fuel can’t melt ice cream.
Trees are just really slow-moving postal workers.
The world is hollow and I have touched the sky.
It’s always 4:15 somewhere.
Elmo is like that because of mercury in vaccines.
Underpants are sentient.
A water-fueled car was invented in the 1930s but General Motors destroyed it by using a Cosmic Cube to rewrite history.
The pope is actually an immortal, single-celled organism.
Prior to 1945 it was illegal to advertise for a plumber if you intended to use him to assassinate the president.

Best Children’s/Young Adult Books of 2016

Wednesday, January 18th, 2017

George Washington and the Beach Garbage Gang
By Calpurnia Blinderwilf

Jenny’s Lonely Menstruation Vacation
By Richard C. Patrick III

The Masters of Boogertown
By Entreaty Wildmeat

Pipi Pantaloons and the Marginal Tax Rate Monster
By Rapella Infibulatora

Flembert, Master of Flembing!
By Hampurtia al Bonko

The Fishmonger Friends Meet The Laugh Buddies’ Happy Blood Buddy Pals
By Embrazada Turfmilfer

Johnny Terwilleger’s Christian Struggles #3: Johnny and the Menacing Negresses
By Adashe ben Motumbe

The Island of Vestigial Children
By Cadmisha Gruntinghorse

The Secret World of Adult Loving
By Ahmed Shimmelstein-Yamasuko

Date Knight 2: Guinevere, and the Premature Swordsman
By Priscilla Whimpersoul

The Cat in the Hat Is a Gender Essentialist
By Dr. Phloogz

Best Books of 2016 : Fiction and Non-Fiction

Wednesday, January 18th, 2017

Arizona Loving
by Nordstrom Evermeat

No God But Bubba
by The Institute For Interracial Medicine

The Plastic Lemon Event
by Venezuela Latte Jr.

That Is Not A Penis
by Abigail Pendersmorgue

The Seventh Nostril
by Tisha Lipiform Antidote

A Phillips Head For Emily
by Agnesia Americana

Love In The Time Of Bandanas
by Mendacity Feverstorm

That VolksWagen Feeling In America’s Death Camps
by Heinrich Overbight

Monkleave and Eldersmith’s Decathalon For Colonialism
by M’w’tumb’e Smith

by Cal Puckers

The Winds of Kmart
by Madison Kerbknight

Our Salad Dogs
by Rafael and Julio Nguyen

The Unheard Corgi
by The NFL Rules Committee

Asparagus Gangbang Problems
by Tomorrow J. Goebbels

Ironing Out The Kringles
by Trorg “Bunny” Punthomo

Flippant Were The Carrot Flowers
by Lipfield D. Standish

The Particle Accelerator Pals
by Buzzy Simplemass

Keisha’s First Embolism
by Anderson Paul Federalist III

Ain’t No Monday High Enough
by Master Honda

Drugs For Victoria
by Analgesica Magnesium

Anal Autumn
by Phinweather Dampbush