After 755 tries, I finally succeeded in stopping World War III before it started! Sadly, I found there were a few side-effects:
1. Bell-bottoms are now just a fad from the 60s, and not a legal requirement.
2. Somehow, Newt Gingrich is no longer Emperor of Mars.
3. The Beatles were, apparently, more popular than Yoko Ono?
4. People use “toilets” to dispose of “excrement.”
5. Most household appliances and furnishings are non-sentient and inedible.
6. God is white.
My apologies for these changes, but at least we aren’t all melting in a stew of radioactive super-squid and running from the porn stars who rule our life-pods.