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Galaga: The Motion Picture

The Script for Galaga: The Motion Picture

Scene: American Military Headquarters. A large, sterile room dominated by an enormous television screen. The room is full of nervous looking military bureaucrats, who stare anxiously at the screen.

Camera zooms in on General Steele, gray-haired but strong-shouldered embodiment of military might. He turns as the door to his right opens.

Pan to:

Lt. Colonel Liza Warrior entering the scene. Lt. Col. Warrior is to be played by a woman whose breasts express military discipline, but also a come-hither sensuality. Her top button should be unbuttoned, revealing just the outer rim of her areolas.

Lt. Col. Warrior: We’ve just received news…the enemy is moving in very tight formation…towards earth itself!

General Steele: Towards earth itself? We’re defenseless. I’ll call the president and tell him to announce an unconditional surrender.

Lt. Col. Warrior: Sir, with all due respect, you’re a tired old war-horse and you’re about to make the biggest mistake of your previously glorious and well-decorated military career!

General Steele: What the blazes are you talking about, Warrior?

Lt. Col. Warrior: We still have…the Galaga ship!

General Steele: The Galaga ship! Why, it’s never been tested with human pilots!!!

Lt. Col. Warrior: It doesn’t need a human pilot. I’ll fly it!

General Steele: Warrior, that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard in my 35 years of military service!

Lt. Col. Warrior: Crazy enough that it just might work?

General Steele: Get out of here…and get into the Galaga ship!

Cut to: Scene of Lt. Col. Warrior stripping down and putting on the skin-tight space-suit designed for Galaga pilots. We see her strapping on an assortment of guns, smoothing the suit down over her ample but efficient breasts, and heading towards the ship’s hangar.

Lt. Col. Warrior approaches three soldiers who stand guard over the Galaga ship.

Guard: Where do you think you’re going?

Lt. Col. Warrior: To save the planet.

Guard: (looking stunned by the force of her reply) Y…yes ma’am!

Lt. Col. Warrior hops into the Galaga Ship. We see her prime the controls, then the ship blasts off in a glorious blaze of color.

Cut to:

Outer Space. A tight formation of alien vessels approaches earth. But! The Galaga ship intercepts.

65 Minutes sequence: battle between the Galaga ship and the invaders. Every time it looks like the Galaga ship has cleared away all the invaders, a new wave of them appears. During the sequence, a graphic indicating Lt. Col. Warrior’s hit/miss ratio appears on the top right of the screen. We cut occasionally to her sweaty face, her breasts heaving against the rigorous constraints of her silver flight suit.

Suddenly: the Boss Alien appears.

Lt. Col. Warrior: I’ve got you, you alien bastard!

She fires, and hits the boss alien…but still it advances!!!

Lt. Col. Warrior: Die, damn you, die!

She fires again, hits the boss alien a second time, and it explodes.

14 minute explosion sequence.

Cut to: Earth. Lt. Col. Warrior is being feted by all the world’s leaders. We see people in many forms of dress and with divergent but attractive skin colors, including those found amongst dedicated Caucasians, hard-working Negroes, and the industrious Asians.

Everyone in the World: Hurrah for Lt. Col. Warrior! Hurrah! Hurrah!

Lt. Col. Warrior gives a humble, but grateful nod.

Everyone in the World: You go girl!

A beautiful woman wearing only a silky negligee runs up to Lt. Col. Warrior. It is her roommate and secretary, Mitzi

Mitzi: O, Liza, how could you…running off to save the world like that.

Lt. Col. Warrior: Honey, I did it for you…what kind of life could you have had in a world that had been destroyed by space aliens who move in tight formation? What kind of life…at all?

(They begin making out. Fade to black as rock anthem blares over credits.)