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Things I Did In Spite Of The Liberals

1. Defeat Hitler. I remember how my liberal Democrat friends were all, “o no, don’t defeat Hitler! You should appease him! He probably has a legitimate grievance caused by American cultural imperialism.” And I was all, “fuck that, I’m defeating Hitler.” They can whine about it in their Gender and Sexuality graduate programs, but that’s just how I play it. I. Defeat. Hitler.

2. Develop A Strong And Healthy Economy. I thought it would be a good idea to create a burgeoning economy that benefited the American worker. Of course, my “liberal” friends thought I’d be better off stifling all growth and creativity in the marketplace. They were all, “let’s not be hasty with the burgeoning economy! What if something goes wrong! I’m scared! Hold me!” Sorry, no time to “hold” you. I have to promote industry and personal responsibility.

3. Reduce Crime. Hey, why not reduce the amount of violent crime in our inner cities, I said. “O no,” said the liberal Democrats, “that would show grotesque racism and classism. Instead, let’s promote crime by handing out free pornography and destroying the family and taking away people’s gun rights and dignity! Then the world would be a utopia!” I have an idea: Why don’t you liberals create vast, tax-payer supported academic wastelands where we can safely sequester you while you “theorize” about your “utopian” experiments. Meanwhile, like all true men of faith and conservative values, instead of “thinking,” I will act. Watch out criminals. I am coming.

5 Responses to “Things I Did In Spite Of The Liberals”

  1. meow Says:

    !you big, strong man!
    i love you billy oh’really

  2. kevin Says:

    whoever wrote this is a motherfucking moron… they should stop typing and go back to fucking their sister.

  3. Albert Says:

    Funny….

    I remember Roosevelt being President when Hitler was defeated….

  4. Getsajoke Says:

    Yeah, Roosevelt was President when Hitler was defeated, the crime rate went down drastically under Clinton after 40 years of going up, and the economy has grown more under Democratic rather than Republican leadership ever since the war. Because, you see, THIS IS SATIRE. IT’S A JOKE, KIDS!!!

  5. Gymboree free shipping Says:

    Hey man. Je suis sur 6’5 et ​​£ 200 et également au collège. Je porte un XL moi-même. Longueur parfaite pour moi (à droite ci-dessous la boucle de ceinture quand les bras sont élevés) et est juste assez lâche pour faire bonne figure.

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