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Postcards To And From The Famous

John,
Thanks for your crappy campaigning; now I’ve got four years of job security in a recession, and it’s a bitchin’ job! Hey, you know what we call you around here? “Sea foam.” Because you’re white and washed up.
Love,
Barack





Dear Jesus,
Sorry about the piss thing. I know you’re more of a scat guy.
Best wishes,
Andres Serrano




Condi,
I miss you so much. No one here lets me play with any of the model airplanes, and they told me I can only go for walks if I eat all my desert. I hate it here! Hate it hate it hate!
XXOO,
George




Lucifer,
My apologies on the outcome of our last co-operative venture. I take all the blame, and will report for sodomy by demon-goats tomorrow at noon, as you requested.
Your faithful servant,
William Kristol




Dear Britney Spears,
I am your biggest fan ever! 4evah! Please please please send me a birthday card. I am a special child and cannot get out of my wheelchair but I “dance” to your music and watch Britney & Kevin: Chaotic on my DVD player that I got with money from a special book that I wrote by myself! Please send me a card!
Love!
Stephen Hawking

4 Responses to “Postcards To And From The Famous”

  1. Stephen Hawking Says:

    Dear Sir,

    It has come to my attention that you are publishing letters supposedly written by me to Britney Spears. This is slander as I would never say any of those things. Britney & Kevin: Chaotic was a horrible movie. Crossroads, on the other hand, was an excellent film that I watch at least once a week. And what’s all this nonsense about me wanting a card from her? When I write letters to Britney Spears I only ask for one thing: handjobs.

    Sincerely,
    Stephen Hawking

  2. Heywood Jablome Says:

    Dear Craven Moorehead,

    You say you want more? Well guess what I say to that!

    –Heywood Jablome

  3. Britney Says:

    a think britney is really cool apart from wen she shaved her hed she must of been in denial* cant think of some-one shavin there hed just for charity a wudnt do to save ma life a luv ma hair lol anyway a think her songs aare mint love ya

  4. Snapfish 50 off Says:

    You actually did not remember to incorporate Playlist. net, wherever it isn’t also required for you to register and stream almost any song you would like.

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