Gun Control!
Spoonbot has been accused of being irrelevant in that it focuses on larger philosophical questions and not the specific problems that haunt modern life: abortion (we’re in favor as long as the fetus consents), gay marriage (to those opposed we ask: in what way is marriage not gay?), and of course gun control. Here we present the two sides of the gun control debate; choose for yourselves!
Anti Gun
Guns are just inherently evil, in the same way that cartoon cats and Donald Trump are evil. Also, guns kill people. Well, people help, but really the guns are whispering to them “kill…it’ll be fun, and then we can have ice cream!” and who can resist that? Plus, the Second Amendment which says that blah blah blah the right to bear arms (do you know that zany bumper sticker that says “the right to arm bears”? that’s hilarious…) really only applies to militias, unless you’re forming a militia, then it’s just stupid and ignore it, ok? Finally, won’t someone think about the children? Excuse me, I have to report back to my Communist masters now.
Pro Gun
Not only do we have the right to own fully automatic weapons and futuristic death rays, we have the right to drive on the sidewalk and litter and eat lots of cholesterol, and you faggy do-gooders can’t stop us because God essentially said “hey, get some shotguns and kill anyone who’s on your property!” (Deuteronomy 23:1, roughly translated). Also, after a hard day sending all our jobs overseas to child slave labor camps in Cambodia or Paris or some shit, who doesn’t need to unwind by blowing up Pepsi cans with an AK-47 and some C-4 plastic explosive? Really, who?