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Unusual Ways To Have Died

On July 9th, 1967, Federico Amasso fell into a pool full of hungry babies and was suckled to death.

In renaissance Flanders it was not uncommon for logs or sticks to become angry, and kill passersby. This is why the “Flanders Wood Laws,” which called for the expulsion of unfinished wood products from vestibules and constabularies, were enacted.

On Valentine’s day of 1949, in Boulder, Colorado, Thomas A. Quartos literally died of a broken heart when his girlfriend, Lilly Anne McDithers, shot him sixteen times in the chest.

On April 14th of the year 33, Jesus of Nazareth died when he was nailed to a wooden cross and left out in the sun. Bless his holy name, and the funny way in which he died.

In Elizabethan England, “the little death” or “le petite mort” was a common euphemism for an orgasm. The term arose when Queen Elizabeth slipped on some freshly spilled semen and died of embarrassment, though not literally. In fact, she died years later while sodomizing a horse.

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