1. “Our Friend The Porpoise,” by Rene Descartes
2. “The Sword in the Stoner: How I Murdered Hippies,” by John F. Kennedy
3. “Tommy’s Boner Feeling Day,” by Marcel Proust
4. “Eskimo Of Intrigue, Eskimo of Love,” by Margaret Thatcher
5. “Why I Eat Glue,” by The United Nations Council on Human Rights
6. “The Underpantagoras,” by Plato
7. “Jesus Has Herpes,” by St. Theresa of Avila
8. “Mr. Zippy-doodle’s Year of Good Bowel Events and Other Stories,” by Joan Didion
9. “Our Friend Rene Descartes,” by a porpoise
10. “Moby Dick,” by Herman Melville