Q: Given that in three complex dimensions a Calabi-Yau manifold can be expressed as a non-singular quantic threefold in CP4 and that such manifolds do satisfy the requirements for higher dimensional spaces that include compactified dimensions, why is there so much sadness in the world?
A: There are some things that only God knows, like how to make a stick. How do you make a stick? No one knows. They’re magic.

Q: My mom and my best friend went on a date and I didn’t get to come because The Bachelorette was on and I can’t just DVR it and watch it later because so many spoilers on Twitter. Should I make them do it again? I have an assault rifle but I’m afraid of love.
A: Once, five blind men approached an elephant. Holding its trunk, the first said, “this is gross.” They all walked away, and were therefore not killed when the elephant took too much LSD and had a bad trip wherein it thought it was happy but was really just eating humans. File down the firing pin on the “assault rifle” if you know what’s good for you.