Lara: So you’re going to put the baby in a rocket ship.
Lara: And send it into space.
Lara: And this is because…
Jor-El: I’m pro-life.
Lara: This is better than an abortion.
Jor-El: It’s the moral thing to do.
Lara: Here’s something your high moral consciousness should have thought about nine months ago: our advanced kryptonian condom technology only works if you actually put the condom on your dick.
Jor-El: I’m saving this baby’s life! You wanted to murder it in the womb!
Lara: I mean, whatever, the whole planet is going to blow up in like five minutes. I can’t see how it would have made any difference.
Jor-El: This is why you’ll never understand ethics.
Lara: Not unless you can explain it in the next five minutes!
Jor-El: It’s pretty simple: you wanted to kill the baby.
Lara: By sucking it out of my womb, and you want to kill the baby by blasting it into space.
Jor-El: Not kill it! Get it off Krypton before the planet explodes.
Lara: Isn’t it your fault that the planet is exploding?
Jor-El: How is that relevant?
Lara: I don’t see this conversation going anywhere. What the hell, blast the baby into space.
Jor-El: Maybe it’ll find an inhabitable planet and be adopted by a kindly couple.
Lara: Yeah, and maybe the Kryptonian World Council will pass that health care bill before the planet blows up.
sound of rocket engines igniting as tiny space-crib heads off into the stars
Jor-El: Goodbye, Kal-El!
Lara: So. Three minutes until the world blows up. Whaddaya want to do?
Jor-El: Well, umm…we could…you know.
Lara: What the hell, nothing can happen this time. O shit! I just remembered!
a dog runs into the room
Lara: Little Kal’s dog krypto! Poor little Kal! He loved Krypto!
Jor-El: O, don’t worry, I made another space ship for Krypto. He’ll be fine.
Lara: You made two space ships, one for the baby, and one for the dog, and you’re leaving us here to die?
Jor-El: I knew there was a flaw in my plan.
Lara: I like that this is the moment you finally admit that you can make mistakes.
(Sound of Krypton exploding)