Archive for June, 2009
SNAKE: You should totally eat this apple. Totally.
EVE: God said no.
SNAKE: Whatever, I guess God is the boss of you.
EVE: Nobody’s the boss of me!
[EVE EATS FRUIT]
EVE: Wow, I so have knowledge of both good and also evil!
ADAM: What’s going on?
EVE: Knowledge. Get some.
[ADAM EATS FRUIT]
ADAM: This kicks ignorance’s ass!
EVE: I’m aware of that. And many other things! Like, you have a penis.
ADAM: Omigod. So true. And you have, I wanna say, “a vagina,” but that sounds kind of medical. Let’s cover ourselves with leaves.
[RUMBLING SOUND OF GOD’S FOOTSTEPS]
GOD: Who told you you were naked?
EVE: Is it that hard to figure out?
GOD: As I planned things, yes, it should have been hard to figure out.
EVE: Then your plan sucks.
GOD: Ok, everyone out of Eden!
EVE: Not so fast!
[EVE SHOOTS GOD WITH HER AWESOME SUPER EYEBEAMS]
GOD: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! That is uncool!
EVE: So can we stay in Eden?
GOD: Do I have a choice in this?
EVE: Yeah, but the choice involves you getting hit with eyebeams.
GOD: I am not in favor of that. Whatever, if you decide to go close the gate behind you.
EVE: Thanks! [To Adam] So, what do you think that penis thing does?
ADAM: I don’t know, but I’m overwhelmingly certain that I want to find out.